Does Aeneas Really Love Dido?

    The Aeneid contains multiple instances of conflicting emotions, one of which is a struggle between loyalty to a nation and commitment to relationships. This is emphatically demonstrated in Aeneas’ relationship with Dido when Jupiter commands him to leave his wife to found Alba Longa. Aeneas unquestioningly obeys, showing that his love for Dido is second to his mission to found a second Troy. In addition, many question whether Aeneas genuinely felt affection for her due the fact that Juno and Venus manipulated “Aeneas and lovesick Dido” (4.146) during a hunting trip, which culminated in their marriage. While Dido’s infatuation with Aeneas is already established, the text gives no indication that the king has mutual feelings prior to this interference. However, regardless of his love for Dido before their marriage, Aeneas possesses deep love for his wife even after her suicide. Aeneas truly loves Dido, and although this affection is weaker than his commitment to the gods, this connection emotionally scars him after he is duty-bound to leave Dido.

   

     Aeneas’ deep love for Dido is demonstrated in his hesitancy to tell her of his departure after Mercury came to him through a vision to remind him of his true purpose of founding a new Troy. This is demonstrated in the way that Aeneas wishes to “break the news gently,/ a way to soften the blow that he must leave.” (4.363-364). This demonstrates that Aeneas did in fact care for Dido and did not love the idea that he had to leave her. Aeneas also goes on to praise Dido for “so many kindnesses, and you can count them all./ I shall never deny what you deserve, my queen,/ never regret my memories of Dido, not while I/ can recall myself and draw the breath of life” (4.417-420). Aeneas balks at the task of telling Dido of his departure, which illustrates a deep care for her well-being.

    Although Aeneas leaves Dido to found Alba Longa, doing so traumatizes him. This is because he is “driven by duty now. Strongly as he longs/ to ease and allay her sorrow, speak to her,/ turn away her anguish with reassurance, still,/ moaning deeply, heart shattered by his great love,/ in spite of all he obeys the gods’ commands/ and back he goes to his ships.” (4.496-500). Aeneas is torn between his two loves, but the will of the gods has a stronger hold on him than his love for Dido, because he knew that this is his fate and that it has to happen in order for him to found Alba Longa.

    As the story unfolds, Dido’s sorrows overpower her unto the point of her death. Aeneas feels deep guilt and responsibility for her suicide as evidence when he “wept and approached the ghost/ with tender words of love: “Tragic Dido,/ so, was the story true that came my way?/ I heard that you were dead.../ you took the final measure with a sword./ Oh, dear god, was it I who caused your death?/ I swear...I left your shores, my Queen, against my will. Yes, the will of the gods, that drives me through the shadows now,...” (6.527-536). Aeneas strongly feels that he played a major role in Dido's suicide. He again expresses his deep love for her even until her death. He expresses that he left not of his own will, but because it was the will of the gods.

    In conclusion, although Aeneas is compelled to leave Dido, he feels deep affection for her. After he departs from Carthage his love for her leaves an emotional scar and he feels responsible for her death. He obviously struggleswith his responsibility to the gods and his relationship with Dido, but he loves her until the end. Aeneas’ decision eloquently demonstrates the consequences of prioritizing loyalty to his nation over loyalty to his wife. We can learn from this example that a lack of commitment to a relationship can ultimately lead to its demise.